Thursday, July 8, 2004

Useful cat terms

Frenetic Random Activity Periods (FRAP) are when otherwise normal cats become psychotic. Chasing their own tails, pouncing on bits of lint, running around the house at high speed, that sort of thing. If you're lucky, it happens when you're around to watch the show. If you're not lucky, it happens at 3 AM whether you want to watch the show or not. Kitten FRAP is distinguishable from normal kitten activity by even higher than normal energy and randomness. A normal kitten will chase a Ping Pong ball. A kitten in FRAP will chase a piece of lint that came off the cat tree.

Cat Fu is a highly developed feline martial art. Its core movement involves holding the other cat's head with your front paws while rapidly pummeling him with your back paws. All other components of cat fu -- pouncing, stalking, etc. -- are simply means to this goal.

Heisen Cats illustrate the well-known Uncertainty Principle: the act of observing changes that which is observed. For example, getting your camera (or calling your spouse) to take a picture of (or watch) something adorable that your cat is doing will cause him to stop doing it and pounce on the camera instead.


  1. Of course, a Heisen Cat will never replace a cute activity with a cuter activity when the spouse is called. Must be entropy or something.

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