The Inmates Are Running The Asylum (TNG edition)

Neither Katherine nor I have traveled much since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic; I haven't been away at all, and Katherine's only trip was to provide aid & comfort to her only brother after he led with his shoulder into a tree while skiing a year ago. But yesterday I drove her down to SeaTac to put her on a plane for ASU Winter Intensive, which runs until Friday in Florida (lucky her!). 

The only problem is, she didn't tell Oscar, much less get his permission. This leaves the Assistant Cat Valet [Probationary] (that is me) picking up the pieces, including meals, litter box cleaning, and of course snuggles.  

Oscar has already demanded snuggle sessions twice, and who am I to argue?

(I've already cut my indoor walking exercise a bit for the week to leave slack for feline servitude.)

Sunshine Supercats

And sometimes, with all the boys gathered, we still have peace in our time.  Click for a larger picture.

All the Boys Having a Morning Nap in My Sunny Office

Someone to Lay Down Beside Me

We now have four heated cat beds in the form of three bowls and one mat.
I installed each one at usual hangout spots:

• Whitey's bowl is tucked in the corner of Katherine's office just past the head of her writing futon,
• PW's bowl is in the opposite corner of Katherine's office by her desk, and
• Billy's mat is where he likes to stretch out by my nightstand in the bedroom,
• Oscar's bowl was originally in place of (and then moved next to) his favorite pillow on my desk.

They are, in general, a hit.

The problem is that two of the four aren't being used by their intended target.

• Oscar looked at the one on my desk in fear. (Oscar was seen last night in PW's bowl.)
• I moved Oscar's bowl to the bedroom next to Billy's mat as a second one for Whitey, but in the middle of the night I saw Whitey huddled in the middle of the floor while PW used the bowl.

This morning, I asked Billy what to do. He calmly looked up at me and succinctly said, "Well, how many cat towers do we have?"

The answer is eight, acquired over 10 years. No, I don't want buy more four heated cat beds. (Or three more, the Big Black Kitty Warmer Mark II may count as one.)

As Katherine pointed out, I should be glad he didn't just say "More kitty treats!", which is his solution to most problems.

Inmates Running the Asylum, 2017 edition

Each summer, Pamplona has the festival of San Fermín, including the Running of the Bulls. For decades, the Kitten Farm West and before it, the original Summerhill Kitten Farm, has had the annual Running of the Asylum by the Inmates.

This is precipitated by SEMICON West in San Francisco. SEMICON is scheduled each year shortly after the Fourth of July -- picture the timing of the MLB Summer Classic (AKA the All Star Game) and you'll get the idea. +Katherine Derbyshire  has attended faithfully since she started at Solid State Technology back in 1994.

Ever since the feline overlords arrived in 2004, they've run the place while she's gone. Every. Year.

(To be fair. other conferences like MRS and IEDM also create this condition. Checking the archives, the original documented running of the asylum was December 2004, for IEDM.)

Festivities for 2017 have already kicked off; I got up this morning and walked out into the upstairs hall to this scene:

Inmates Running the Asylum 2017 is Off With Bang!  (And a Hairball.)

Consider the sheer energy required to move the cat tower from its home by my office door (its home footprint is visible in the rug) at a right angle multiple feet from the direction of how it tipped.

You can also see the hairball pointed at by the tower. You can't see the cordless telephone & charger in Katherine's office which landed on the floor in the same timeframe.

Busy early shift.

The telephone, hairball and tower are cleaned up, the boys fed, the litterbox raked, and the (first) morning conflict between Penwiper & Whitey mediated. Now Billy has hopped into his morning sun chair, Whitey is on the floor soaking in the same sunbeam, and so on with our day.

Only eight kitten more meals until the chief valet returns.

I'm praying they don't figure how to order sashimi via Uber Eats before then.

Family Portrait

Wednesday  morning, something happened which I'm not sure has occurred since Penwiper arrived years ago -- all the cats more or less in the same place for more than ten seconds.  And war didn't even break out.

I was even able to get a picture.

The Four Feline Overlords, Together at Last.
(click for a larger view)

Better Purring Through Technology

While the original Summerhill Kitten Farm (built in 1890) was transformed into an electronic cottage before we had cats, these days many of the technological advances at the Kitten Farm West are actually driven by the Feline Overlords.

For example:

• The main reason we own a an HP CP2025dn LaserJet is not because it's a fast networked duplexing color printer, and that it uses powdered toner which doesn't dry out. No, we bought it because by combining the function of a color inkjet and a B&W Laserjet, we have a single taller printer that leaves more space in my office for cats and makes a better launch pad for Whitey or Penwiper to do a spider-cat worthy jump to the top of the library bookshelf.
• Recently, we adjusted the shelving in the living room entertainment center so that the receiver, a smarter brother of the Big Black Kitty Warmer in my office, now has the shelf clearance to be used by a feline for its true purpose of keeping a cat toasty. They haven't discovered it yet, but they will.
• Back at Christmas, we replaced +Katherine Derbyshire's aged iPad 2 with a iPad Mini 4, which is faster and smaller. With the recent addition of a Zagg keyboard and an iOS beta of her favorite writing tool, that means more futon time in place of sitting at her desktop, with more room for a feline in her lap.

Alas, our work is never done.

Yesterday, Katherine pinged me from her office to ask me to print a document that she'd put on the cloud. I found this odd, but complied. While I printed it and fetched the result, she explained that she was on her futon with her iPad -- and the cat on her lap had decreed she didn't need to get up just then. She had already searched for how to print directly from her iPad and found something called AirPrint, but our monster of a printer, released in 2009, has never heard of it. Fortunately, Google search has.

After I chatted with our local server, the Chief Kitten Valet can now print from her iPad. I don't know how she'll retrieve the result, though.

p.s. We interrupted writing this post after the word "complied" to worship the just-arrived-on-my-desk Penwiper. He was petted, and settled on a desk pillow to groom himself. 

We then returned to our previously scheduled blog post ...

The Fickle Felines Of Fate

An entire summer's worth of updates in one post ...

The Big Trip

We took to the road for 27 days drive across the country and back.   (Pictures and various other updates are over on https://www.facebook.com/swhobbit/photos if you care, but you'll have to friend +Katherine Derbyshire or I to see them.)

+Margaret Derbyshire and her son Ian were able substitute cat valets in our absence.   Oscar never did fully adjust to them, but he did chill enough to eat well.

Penwiper, love monger that he his, had Marg and Ian wanting to take him home to Syracuse with them.  Against our better judgement, we kept him.

Spa Day for Whitey and Oscar

All the cats have been to the vet over the summer, with Oscar & Whitey making a second visit on September second for teeth cleaning.

During the visit, Whitey also got a blood draw, and the results came back that his kidney and thyroid functions are both "high normal".   That means our quiet hunter doesn't need any treatment, but we need to keep a close on his drinking and litter box use, and of course annoy him next year with more blood work.

The sedation associated with the visit knocked them for a loop, as always, and PW hissed at the strange smelling cats as they staggered about the house.  But they bother recovered faster than previous visits.

Dawn Patrol: Anniversary Edition

On 22 July 1989, I first met +Katherine Derbyshire in person and took her to lunch in Boston, MA. 25 years later, on Monday we drove and ferried our way to San Juan Island for two nights. It was a nice getaway, and the feline overlords were looked after by our regular sitter, +Heather Waters of Fetch Pet Care Kirkland.

It was also nice that within an hour of getting home yesterday afternoon and handing out kitty treats, we had three cats visit the living room couch and snuggle us while we watched the end of the Mariners day game. It's nice to be loved.

Unfortunately, early this morning they repeatedly announced that they both love and rely on us. In no particular order, the following routine activities occurred before we got up:

• Someone loudly deposited a hairball at the top of the stairs. (Leading suspect: Penwiper)
• Someone jumped up to the exterior water dispenser in the refrigerator door, loudly knocking its metal tray to the wooden floor. (Leading suspect: Billy)
• Whitey offered meows of despair from downstairs.
• Penwiper growled from under the bed. Looking over the side, it was Whitey impinging on PW's personal space. (At least Whitey came upstairs on his own ...)
• Oscar cuddle time was declared shortly after 7 AM via a head butt to the the almost sleeping human, me. (I did cuddle, lest he start meowing.)
• Penwiper went on a tour of the window sill, which included walking behind the blinds and rattling them.
• Billy went on a tour of the dressers, poking at things and generally making noise.

All that was missing was Billy scratching at the bathroom door to be let in, and Whitey clawing his way up the headboard over Katherine to be feline death from above.

It's nice to be loved and relied on after you've been gone, but I wish they didn't remind us quite so early.

Holiday Roll Call

Happy Independence Day.

I'm delighted to report the the boys aren't thinking much about it.   They might prefer less of a distraction to better hear the creatures outside, but they don't seem to care one way or another about the fireworks noises.   Certainly they aren't acting overly tense or hiding this year.

To check on them, once the fireworks had picked up after dark I did a roll call the old fashioned way, with a rattle of the kitty treats bottle.  Oscar was a little late, but that doesn't mean much -- he tends to be last to ad hoc treats.

I made good on the rattle, and much chasing of treats ensured.   Clearly treats were more important than noises a block or more away, and that's a good thing.

Out in Right Field

Sometimes, it seems that the most similar cats at the Kitten Farm are Billy and Penwiper.  While different in appearance, both are athletic, self-assured, and seemly the most active hunters of the crew.   (Make no mistake, all are hunters, but Oscar and Whitey are quiet hunters).

And then there is hunting of the kitty treats we ritually pass out in the kitchen when we come home.

Whitey will go after the treats, but both he and Oscar often tend towards the Bob Uecker school of catching knuckleballs ("wait till it stops rolling and pick it up").   This is particularly embarrassing when a treat bounces off their nose to the floor.  ("Oh, that was for me?")

This leaves Penwiper as second only to Billy in fielding thrown kitty treats on the fly.  Billy always wants to catch treats on the fly in his mouth or paw.  The downside of his all-out effort is if he misses, he deflects it and the treat can end up in the next room.  Penwiper similarly extends real effort to not let a treat hit the floor, with a result he deflects even more than Billy.  At least they don't fly as far.

However, something has clicked: Penwiper is suddenly able catch some treats in his mouth.   I would not call his catches of what are effectively pop-ups highlight plays, but then again any catch by a cat is a highlight reel play.

Note: We tried to get video of this this morning and failed.   Was it timing (middle of the morning when we haven't left), location (upstairs), or karma (the boys don't do stupid pet tricks on demand), I don't know.  We'll try for video again during some more natural time.

CSI: Cat Scene Investigation

We really wish we knew what happened in the front downstairs hall (the passage to left of the bathroom door in the background to the photo) this afternoon.

When I came downstairs to feed the boys I found fresh dried blood splatters between the counter and the bathroom door.  +Katherine Derbyshire said that it looked like a feline slasher movie.

Most of the blood was on the floor in front of the door, but we found individual droplets everywhere from 3+ feet up on the bathroom door to on the counter (where the boys are sitting on in the photograph), and into the living room (to their right). There was no real trail, just droplets here and there.

It was bright enough to be arterial blood.

We were out most of the day, but Katherine thinks there was no blood when we distributed kitty treats when we got home.

We didn't hear any battles royal between cats.

There are no marks on any of the cats.  We checked each at least twice.

There no signs of invading rodents.

Short of putting the blood through a DNA analysis to determine the owner, we have no clue.

Update: Actually a little bit of a clue. Given the lack of interest in the blood by the resident felines, we're guessing it belonged to one of them, not a rodent.

At The Ballet (The Magic is Back!)

Yet more small adventures, none of which were properly told in a timely fashion.   Thus, it is time for multiple chapters of "As the Food Bowl Turns".

Our Story Thus Far

Penwiper, who gets overly excited and swats at his housemates while meals are being served, has for some time now been locked up until his own bowl is ready.  

It mostly just works: He knows the food reward for going in the bathroom before feeding, and when he thinks it's time he'll go sit by the door waiting to be let in.   After he eats, he's fine, lounging around or looking for some human affection.   No disturbing of housemates occurs ... at least by Penwiper.

January

As previously noted, we had a minor problem with Penwiper's appetite being off after his annual shots, the same sort of problem we sometimes see with Oscar after his annual exam.   We bought two cans of wet food, and to avoid a riot gave some to each boy:

• Penwiper treated it like an ice cream cone at first, licking it rather eating it, but he got the hang of it and generally liked it.
• Oscar refused to go near it.   We had to give him a clean bowl of dry kibble.
• Whitey definitely liked it.  Not surprising, since he and Billy got wet food years ago.
• Billy, resident foodie, acted like he had gotten cream.  ("More please?")

We gave the three who wanted it a treat at every meal until the first can was gone, and put the other can away, unopened.

Three Weeks Ago

Billy, who has always been a pain at meals by eating fast and then raiding others' bowls, got to be enough of a headache that I came up with a new plan: As we let Penwiper out of the bathroom, we put Billy in.   

This is actually easier than it sounds, because Billy was already under the impression that going in the bathroom on command gets him treats.  That the kibble he was following to the bathroom wasn't his (it's PW's, and not going in the bathroom with Billy) mattered not: The Mighty Hunter is easily decoyed, and if his bowl eventually shows up at his private dining room, he's good with the procedure.

With this, after 10 years we can lay off the continuous vigilance at meal times.   We just need to let him out once his housemates finish.

The Week Before Last

We got worried about Whitey not always finishing his food over period of a couple of weeks.   It was off to the vet for a full exam and geriatric blood work, the pronouncement being: He's fine.  

We opened the second can, added wet food back to his diet and now the magic is back.   He was bored.   Or maybe no longer feeling the pressure of Billy wanting to raid his food.   

Now

A full case of wet food has been obtained.

The permanent change in menu does mean that Billy is dining alone for the foreseeable future.   If he was a pain when everyone was eating kibble, he's in overdrive when his wet food is gone and someone else has some. The kid spent years trying to raid Whitey's bowl of wet food, we have not forgotten.   

Amusingly enough, it does mean the decoy of Penwiper's bowl is less effective.   Billy is so eager for wet food, he won't go in the room without a bowl as easily.  So now we prep his and Penwiper's bowls at the same time.

Such is the ballet we dance for our boys.

Temporary Menu Change

Penwiper went into the vet at the end of January for his annual check-up and shots, and was given a clean bill of health.   However, late last week he seemed to lose some of his appetite, possibly an after-effect from the shots.  So it was off to vet again on Friday.  No issues were found, but to encourage him to eat we did pickup canned food to spice up his kibble.

The new menu started Friday evening.  Knowing Billy would raid Penwiper's dish if he didn't get some, we gave some to all the feline overlords with the usual results:

• Oscar announced that there no way he was eating this "contaminated" kibble.   We had to serve him a clean dish of dry food, and pass his original dish to Billy.
• Billy thought it was Catmas.  He woofed it down before his kibble.
• Whitey was on board with the holiday treat idea too.
• Penwiper wasn't quite sure, and used it as a tasty side dish.   In particular, he licked it every so often (as he does cheese we when we give that to him), and finally ate it when his kibble was gone.

Oscar wanting only his dry kibble actually makes it easier.   He's fed first, and serving him "boring" dry food means Billy doesn't raid it while waiting for his own meal.

After a meal or two, Penwiper has gotten to where the wet food is a real part of the meal, and has eaten it more promptly.   He has required patience by the valet, but has finished sooner or later.   Sometimes this requires letting hop him on a dining room chair next to a valet and putting his half-finished meal by him, but he's a social kitten -- what's wrong with wanting company?

It's a cat's world, we just live here

The Pacific Northwest is, apparently, the cat capital of the United States. In Seattle, cats outnumber both dogs and children under 18.

While the Kitten Farm is not in the City of Seattle proper, the Feline Overlords inform me that the area's priorities are where they should be. Or they would, if it weren't for their afternoon naps.

Photo Holiday Extra: It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Catmas

Around Thanksgiving, +Katherine Derbyshire and I had the usual conversation about whether or not to put up a tree for the holidays.   There are of course only two of us to do the work, we have to make it safe for the feline overlords, and the last time we put one up, we didn't exactly get it down in a timely fashion ...

The question for this year was solved the week after Thanksgiving, when we decided Katherine needed to attend an Aikido seminar in Tampa over the holiday break.   But the boys still got a wonderful Catmas morning, because Katherine packed, and they all helped

Cat-mas Morning Packing

Katherine has now been shipped off, with me as head-valet-in-residence for the next week.   Now if I can just find the proper spot on Oscar's chin to scratch ...

A Nip of a Sip

The feline overlords all wanted the some of cream @kewms was putting on fruit, so she put a little sip in 4 saucers."We love you, mom!"

— Drew Derbyshire (@swhobbit) July 25, 2012

Video Saturday: Nap Central

With Katherine off to Aikido for the day, my office became nap central for the feline overlords.   I often get three of them, but today I got all four peacefully napping, and here's impromptu video proof:

Note it probably looks better if you kick it up to HD.  Amazing what a camera phone can shoot these days ...

To Leap the Impossible Leap

As noted, the repair of the bathroom was almost done a couple of weeks ago, and after a false start, the glass was installed today (Monday).   Once it had a few hours to set, we let the feline overlords inspect it.

The inspection didn't go well.  

As the previous photos show, there is a pony wall between the tub and the shower.  This now has ~ 3 feet of glass on top of it, similar to before the remodel.  What's not similar is the glass is offset towards the tub to make the shower side a usable shelf.   Katherine specifically approved this, but she didn't copy the cats on the approval.   

Oscar, Penwiper, and Whitey each tried to jump up from the lip of the tub to the pony wall expecting the former narrow but usable landing area, and instead smacked into the glass and fell back down.   Whoops! No one was injuried.

Billy, being the brilliant leader of our crew, didn't try it.  Instead, I later saw him tentatively put his forepaws up on the pony wall to inspect the the glass, rear paws firmly on the tub.   

No one has tried for the shelf since, so apparently the lesson was quickly learned

Cat 54 Where Are You?

On Saturdays when Katherine teaches, I have morning cat valet duties.  This morning, as she is leaving before I get downstairs, she announced ...

"A cat tower is tipped over!" (Oh so that was the bang I had heard.) 

... followed by ...

"There is a a hairball by the couch!"

... and the hits just kept on coming ...

"We have a litterbox miss!"

At this point, I told she was sounding like the theme from Car 54 Where are You?

The fun didn't stop there.

Once I got downstairs, Oscar decided he didn't want to eat on the floor:

Oscar Eating on the Terrace

He hopped up on the counter and expected to be fed there, which is an improvement over his retreating to the front hall stairs to dine.   Life was also made cooler when Penwiper ignored Oscar and vice-versa.

I can tell I took this picture after Billy somehow detected one lonely kibble was trapped under the edge of the toaster oven.  He hopped up to the kitten meal preparation area with the scale -- the green handled Mist Of Doom is where I left it after spraying him.  (Note the SSSCat towers deployed to keep the boys off the food prep areas, namely the island and far counters.  Unfortunately, I had not rearmed them all yet.)

Our downstairs has been restored to order, with Katherine's impromptu punch list handled, the boys fed, the litterbox raked, the laundry room (AKA the litterbox room, top left) swept, and the Litter Locker emptied.

Can I take a nap?

Updated: There were two litterbox misses, I got one Katherine didn't know about.  There was also a second hairball miss on her side of the bedroom that I had no knowledge of.  Fun, fun, fun ..

Chatting over breakfast

Drew: You know, some people are just amazed that we track the boys' food so closely.

Katherine: Some people are just amazed that their cats are fat, too.

Seriously, folks, if your cat is fat, it is your fault. Feed them less. They'll be happier, and they'll live longer with fewer vet visits.